My father grew up with 8 family members (parents, Mom's sister and 4 siblings) in a 3 room house with one bathroom in Hyderabad. He came to this country in the US for medical training and is now a retired physician. He gave my Mom, sister and me a nice, comfortable upper middle class lifestyle. He maintained his simplicity throughout and taught us 2 very important lessons : generosity and respecting dignity of labor. This is how it has played out in my life : I do not bargain or give anyone less than a 20% tip when I am utilizing someone's services or buying local goods/products that is provided by an independent business owner. I see way too many of our brown people with tons of money living in expensive homes, driving expensive cars, and having luxury goods giving service workers less than what they deserve as far as tip or even at all. I do not find these behaviors acceptable especially if you have lived here for 20+ years and are in a high income bracket. Again - my sincere apologies if I may offend anyone who has read this.
Thank you for sharing this crucial facet of South Asian immigrant female experience under late capitalism--it has been one of the central issues that I've been working through in therapy and intend to write about in my own memoir that addresses child abuse, intergenerational trauma, chronic illness, and their connections. I can't wait for your book, and would love to be a reviewer!!
Great breakdown on the money stories we have been taught by our parents, and especially as children of immigrants!
My father grew up with 8 family members (parents, Mom's sister and 4 siblings) in a 3 room house with one bathroom in Hyderabad. He came to this country in the US for medical training and is now a retired physician. He gave my Mom, sister and me a nice, comfortable upper middle class lifestyle. He maintained his simplicity throughout and taught us 2 very important lessons : generosity and respecting dignity of labor. This is how it has played out in my life : I do not bargain or give anyone less than a 20% tip when I am utilizing someone's services or buying local goods/products that is provided by an independent business owner. I see way too many of our brown people with tons of money living in expensive homes, driving expensive cars, and having luxury goods giving service workers less than what they deserve as far as tip or even at all. I do not find these behaviors acceptable especially if you have lived here for 20+ years and are in a high income bracket. Again - my sincere apologies if I may offend anyone who has read this.
Thank you for sharing this crucial facet of South Asian immigrant female experience under late capitalism--it has been one of the central issues that I've been working through in therapy and intend to write about in my own memoir that addresses child abuse, intergenerational trauma, chronic illness, and their connections. I can't wait for your book, and would love to be a reviewer!!
Soo good! I'm glad you wrote this piece.