Stop Telling Me To Be Authentic
July 2023 Monthly Newsletter
Hi all, if you are a free subscriber who doesn’t want to receive a preview of the weekly posts, please sign in to your Substack account and change your notification settings so you still receive the monthly newsletter and be in the know when I launch a few workshops and events later this summer (subscribers get first dibs!)
I spent the last month talking about imposter syndrome, and breaking down how it impacts us and what we can do about it. Here’s the thing though. No matter how much I talk about imposter syndrome, and how hard I try to learn (and teach you) to combat it, it won’t go away. Why? Because the systems are stacked against me. And you. And people like us.
In a recent corporate workshop, where I discuss the intersection of culture, identity, and workplace issues, I was asked by a Black woman how she and others can show up more authentically at work. I have a love-hate relationship with that word because often we’re told that if we’re not “authentic” we’re doing ourselves a disservice.
This then makes it feel like a YOU problem and compounds on any imposterism you may be feeling. Here’s the thing: Showing up authentically is not SAFE for everyone. Often, we have to adjust and adapt to different cultural systems and frankly we have to decide if we have a level of psychological safety with our coworkers/colleagues/superiors to even try to be more authentic.
Imposter syndrome, or imposterism, is sometimes known as having a fraud complex. Here’s the thing though: When you are confined to a set of values and expectations that don’t encompass all of who you are, you will inevitably feel like you don’t belong or you’re a fraud. Instead of considering this to be a you problem, we have to acknowledge that the systems are failing us — and sometimes our loved ones are failing us.
While anyone can experience impostor syndrome, those who identify as Black, Indigenous, Latino, or a Person of Color may experience it more frequently and intensely. This may be rooted in systemic racism.
Because individuals from marginalized groups are also disproportionately affected, they may experience more difficulty advocating for themselves in the workplace or even showing up as their WHOLE selves.
Feeling like we can be more authentic is actually a top-down approach, because it’s the systems, the workplaces, the people in power who don’t realize how they are actually excluding us. Professionalism is often a synonym for whiteness, and even more, “authenticity” is usually only encouraged as long as it doesn’t make others uncomfortable. Where does that leave us? (This TED talk by Jodi Ann-Burey is a great listen/watch.)
So then, what does authenticity actually look like?
Be true to a version of yourself
Make values-based choices
Allow yourself to evolve
Instead of assuming that you are the same person in every situation, or around every single person, consider how you can be driven by your values and yet still discern how much of yourself to give, or show, depending on the circumstance. You can also allow yourself to evolve into versions of yourself. As a simplified example, you may hold back with a colleague and then develop a relationship with them that allows you to feel more comfortable over time. Alternatively, you may start to hold back in a situation where you experienced a microagression. This does not mean you are less authentic. Instead of feeling like you’re being fake, consider that your ability to be authentic is informed by self-preservation and sense of safety.
Reflect: What does authenticity mean to you? How does it differ in different settings and/or relationships?
July Topic and Schedule
July 7: Common Money Issues and How $$ Impacts Mental Health — I will get personal here!
July 14: Unpacking Cultural and Family Money Narratives
July 21: Money and Self Care
July 28: Money Reflections Worksheet
5 Money-Related Resources and Reads:
Erika Kullberg on IG and TikTok (+ she has great free newsletter challenges and resources)
How to get rich (and everything Ramit does — podcast, newsletter, book)
Money Diaries: Looking in on how other people spend their money
Other Community Information
UPCOMING SCHEDULE: TWO conversation clubs this month for paid subscribers = more chances to meet community members! One on July 9 and the second on July 30! Both of these are at 1pm-2pm ET. (So you can mark your calendar, the two August dates are August 13 and August 27 at the same times.)
Here’s a five question survey for newsletter subscribers (paid and free) to answer so I can intentionally continue to curate my content and spaces for YOU. This is anonymous! I would be so thankful if you could take about five minutes to fill this out for me.
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