My family doesn't support my relationship...

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I'm the first in my family to marry outside of my race, culture and religion. When so much of my experience of receiving love, as a child of immigrants, has been tied to the expectations I meet, I was terrified of how my parents would react to my choosing a non-Sikh, white partner. Growing up, my Sikh, immigrant Papa would repeat his no. 1 house rule all the time: When you get married, marry a Sikh. He couldn’t fathom that after moving West, and leaving behind his family and home, one of his kids would make the mistake of losing touch with their roots. Because that’s what marrying outside of culture meant to him — cultural erasure.

So eight years ago, when I told my parents I met someone and he wasn't Sikh, they couldn’t wrap their heads around it. They couldn’t understand why I would make a relationship and potential marriage even harder by choosing someone so different from me. They were worried for my future. My parents ultimately waited for this phase to pass, and my dad continued to hint at potential Sikh suitors he knew about in the community. No matter how hard it was to actively fight for my happiness, I knew I’d have to ride it out and prove to them this wasn’t short-lived. Meanwhile, my now husband waited respectfully and patiently. He had never been with someone whose religion is the thread that ties together their values, world views, and beliefs. Someone whose culture emphasized family involvement, even on personal matters.

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Keep reading for the rest of this essay and tips and considerations for getting your family on board (or accepting their lack of support) with your relationship. Plus, what to expect in the coming month!