January 2023 Newsletter

The fresh start effect, cultural confidence, and more.

Happy New Year! Anddddd happy birthday to me :) This time of year always feels doubly overwhelming for me. In general, I think that many of us use birthdays and the new year as motivational milestones. These are days where we feel especially motivated to change our behavior, and this has actually been researched to be known as the Fresh Start Effect. These new beginnings can feel like a new page. For me, I literally buy a new journal and planner, and the feeling of having a blank slate allows me to feel like the past is the past, and I have more control over what I want for my future.

Temporal landmarks, or these significant dates that we use to structure time, allow us to breathe a sigh of relief and let go of whatever happened in the past — what we didn’t do, what we didn’t finish (or even start), and what we didn’t say.

They encourage us to have self-compassion. It’s okay, you can try again. You can change your mind. You can move forward from this.

In short, this time of year reminds us that we can psychologically separate between what has been and what can be.

Of course, this is not the case for everyone (as the research I linked to also suggests). Since my birthday and new year’s day are one and the same, I often feel a lot of pressure to get it just right and sometimes this is paralyzing and overwhelming more than anything.

These calendar markers can be the reset many of us need, but for some it can feel like a reminder that we didn’t finish what we wanted to. That’s why I created this free 14-page workbook for us all to be able to reflect and set intentions in ways that feel good to us.

Pick a word.

Instead of creating an endless list of New Year's resolutions that I will naturally not complete, I always choose one word that will be my word, my way of life, for the year to come.

This year, my word is CONFIDENCE. This feels the most apt for me right now as I venture into new territory with this community newsletter — are you going to continue to like me? — and as I am traveling around India with my whole family — am I good enough as an Indian daughter or even just an Indian woman? I’m also finishing the final touches of my book in the first quarter of 2023, and I worry, is it going to be good enough? Am I good enough as a writer?

I want to explore what it looks like to have confidence with you. Confidence to be authentic even if that means accepting that not everyone will like me. To have confidence in my cultural identities. To feel confident in my worthiness as a daughter. To have confidence in the friendships that fuel and fill my cup rather than worrying about the ones that don’t or won’t. And confidence that no matter what, I can handle whatever comes my way.

Confidence looks different for people who hold multiple cultural identities, and I want to share in these reflections and findings over the course of January.

So — starting January 4, paid subscribers will start getting the weekly posts and the monthly zoom community meetup at the end of the month! Let me know in the comments what questions YOU have about ‘confidence’ so I can answer them!

Consider joining if you are subscribed to the free newsletter — and if nothing else, consider it a birthday gift ;) Note that the subscription options are subject to change in the new year, too!

What else to expect:

Moving forward, newsletters will also contain reading lists and updates on community events you can join. But since today is my birthday, and I am traveling around India, I don’t have much to share just yet. More in February.

Rooting for you,

SKK

P.S. If you feel like it, please tell your friends about this community.

You can manage your subscription and the notifications you receive by signing in to Substack. This is particularly helpful if you want to be a paid subscriber but not receive weekly emails to your inbox.