Reflecting on our family history

And a breakdown of our August schedule.

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I have been spending the week with my family — my parents, my husband, my siblings, and their kids. Nothing quite like a family gathering to really witness or observe the ways we interact, and the differences in generational and cultural values and behaviors. Often, my parents have clung to, "it’s just cultural” when it comes to the ways they do or do’t communicate or act. Sometimes these are just different from me, but not necessarily negative, and other times there is pain in the spaces between us. I feel it. I write about this in great detail in my book, but the underlying theme that I think needs to be explored further is intergenerational trauma.

Intergenerational trauma is the transmission of effects, behaviors, and coping skills due to a traumatic incident from one generation to the next. Simply, I define it as: how pain is passed down through generations. On a macro scale, the traumatic experiences can be systemic, like historical and systemic oppression, colonization, war, genocide, poverty, natural disasters, incarceration, and so on.

Each generation might experience something collectively, and each person experiences these traumas (plus any of their own personal trauma) in unique and individualized ways. Trauma is not experienced in the same way by everyone!

Regardless we all have a family history — and our elders (and their elders) have their own experiences that are still impacting us today.

I will break this down in further posts — discussing micro trauma and ways it actually manifests in our lives — along with what it can look like to break the cycle of intergenerational trauma.

Reflect and comment: What are some macro — or systemic/historical — examples of intergenerational trauma that may be impacting you or your family? Some examples include the Partition of 1947, the Bangladesh Liberation War, forced migration, internment camps, genocide, war, and so on.

Upcoming August Schedule

COMMUNITY EVENT on August 13 at 1pm-2pm ET (link to come)

August 13: How does intergenerational trauma actually present itself in our lives? What does it look like?

August 20: Breaking the cycle of intergenerational trauma (and exploring the opposite of it)

COMMUNITY EVENT on August 27 at 1pm-2pm ET (link to come)

August 27: Talking about intergenerational trauma with loved ones + reflection questions for you to do this work on your own

Resources on Intergenerational Trauma (and Breaking Cycles)

Here are 9 non-fiction books on Intergenerational Trauma that I would recommend if you are looking to start your journey on understanding this topic.

Dr. Gabor Mate has a long list of resources where he shares his experitse on the subject.

9 novels I’ve read in the last couple of years that touch on the subject beautifully: All-Night Pharmacy, Here Comes The Sun, Honor, A Place For Us, All My Rage, Queenie, Brown Girls, The Marrow Thieves, Last Night At The Telegraph Club.

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