Questions to reflect on your boundary behavior

Culturally Enough. is a community of anyone who straddles more than one culture. All are welcome regardless of age, gender, race, culture, sexuality, and so on. I am so pleased you are here. Welcome home.

DON’T FORGET: We have our second open conversation club tomorrow at 7pm-8pm.

---

Boundaries are the biggest topics I discuss with all my clients — unrelated to where they are from, how they were raised, or their immigrant generational status. Many times, folks will get stumped on the word “boundary.” We all have our own preconceptions about what this word means, where it comes from, the assumptions tied to it, and more.

Before you can even start to learn about boundaries, it’s imperative that you learn about your own foundational language and understanding of the concept. This will help you understand your own internal roadblocks to this concept and how to build strategies toward being able to healthily, respectfully utilize boundary setting within your family and cultures. A few questions I like to ask all my clients about boundaries are:

• What comes to mind when you think of the word “boundary”? Just free associate other words with this word and see what comes up.

• How were boundaries modeled or encouraged growing up — by different family members?

• What does it feel like when others set boundaries with you?

• What’s another word that feels more meaningful or resonant for you than “boundary”? How does culture inform this?

If you want more where these came from, don’t forget to check out the culturally-informed holiday boundaries webinar and workbook!

So what is a boundary?

Boundaries are not about controlling another person’s behavior; instead, they are about protecting your own capacity and resources when engaging with others.

But what’s the point if others won’t change! How can boundaries actually help me?! Oh how I get these questions a lot.