Is dating a white person a form of being colonized?
One of your hot takes and this week's podcast episode
Don’t forget book club in April, at the end of the month! We are going to be discussing Evil Eye by Etaf Rum on April 28 at 6pm ET. Link will be sent day of!
Mark your calendars for May conversation clubs which will be held at May 6 at 8-9pm ET and May 20 at 8-9pm ET. Link will be sent day of to paid subscribers.
Our lovely
is going to be leaving us at the end of May to focus on her own initiatives. Let’s make May 20 conversation club a celebration in her honor (I’ll be there, too!). P.S. If you reached out about running conversation clubs as a therapist, stay tuned! Emails are going out next week to start planning for this!The giveaway is being extended! Leave a review on Apple and a comment on Spotify and enter to win a FULL year of a paid subscription to this community! (Details here)
Our conversation club this week was so amazing. About 15 of you showed up and we got into it. We talked about:
One of you shared how you feel torn between being authentic and having family secrets. So we explored the concept of authenticity and what it means (this comes on the heels of my first podcast bonus episode on this topic).
One of you / a few of you are new moms and discussed having parents who are overly involved or invasive. So, we explored the differences between pacifying our parent and setting boundaries with them. On one hand, we may appease our parents, let things go, and stay quiet. But on the other hand, we may want to speak up, set firmer boundaries around certain things, and not let things go. Ultimately, we discussed how it’s up to us to really decide what we are willing to compromise on, what we are willing to give, and what we aren’t.
People shared resources like the book, Radical Candor
One person shared the other side of the story which is setting a boundary and having it be respected and received. Sometimes we have to let our parents show up differently by not reinforcing the same story we have about them.
Some of you shared a recognition of patterns in romantic relationships around guilt, avoidance, fear of disappointment, and wanting to leave relationships when it feels hard or ‘boring’
And finally we talked briefly about family history, grief, and being creative when trying to learn more. One of you shared using ChatGPT to explore Arabic records to find more information on your lineage, and we learned about familytreedna.com
Overall, a wonderful and lively conversation. Thank you all for joining and hope to see you at the next one in May.
Is dating someone white a form of being colonized?
The latest episode of So We’ve Been Told gets into everything when it comes to intercultural relationships. One of you sent in a hot take about how being with someone who is White (especially as a South Asian woman) is a form of ‘colonizer syndrome’. I respond to this in the episode, but I am curious: what are your thoughts?
The episode has more hot takes on intercultural/interracial dating, and your deeply personal reflections on navigating love, heartbreak, and identity across cultural and racial lines. I also open up about my love story as the first in my family to marry outside race, religion, and culture.
I also answer your questions on navigating the challenging (and awkward!) parts of dating, like introducing your partner to your family, and she offers advice on the ultimate dilemma: love or loyalty?
There’s representation from a:
Black + South Asian couple
Mexican + Jewish couple
Indian + Chinese couple
South Asian + White American
Filipina + White American
Black + Chinese couple
Mexican + South Asian couple
As well as: • Queer couples • Post-divorce dating • Introducing partner to family stories
Even more, together, we confront hard truths — anti-Blackness, colorism, internalized racism, and community bias — while also celebrating the beauty of bridging and blending cultures:
*Disclaimer: Culturally Enough. is not therapy, a mental health service, nor is it a substitute for mental health services of any kind. I am not showing up in this space as your therapist — I am showing up here as a curiosity-driven writer, peer, and a human. If you are looking for therapy, please consult with your local mental health resources.
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