🎧 Investing in community care
A message from me to you. I recommend listening before reading:
The pull to invest in community
I have been undergoing many changes this summer. I finished my book (more on that soon!), and while I took some time to rest and celebrate, I found myself also being pulled by thoughts of: What now? I have spent so much time (three years) on my book that it naturally took time away from investing in Brown Girl Therapy or this space. I have so many ideas and visions but have not been able to execute because I have been.. quite frankly, overwhelmed. But I feel my brain space and heart space opening up. I feel myself pulled to start giving and building here. I feel excited to reinvest in this community care.
As such, I have had to also honestly confront the reality that I can no longer do all of these things alone! I am finally bringing in people to help me — in this space, but also in my life in general. Ever since I started Brown Girl Therapy four years ago (as I was in graduate school full time and working as a senior editor full time), I have done all the behind the scenes… alone. Phew! We don’t win an award for doing everything alone, and I have had to constantly remind myself of this. I know that in order to challenge the scarcity and the individual mindset, I need to do this work with OTHERS and with you!
I want these community spaces to grow, and grow, and grow. I want it to be ours, not mine. I want it to challenge and defy the “usual” way to do things. I have never, in this work, been in it for the money, or to seek some level of fame. But as I grow these offerings and spaces, I know that sustainability as a community needs to look different and sometimes that will mean having the means to invest in others who will help me invest in these spaces. I am figuring out how to do this, and it’s a lot of trial and error, but I am going to do it. Most importantly, I want each of you to feel a part of this.
I’m rambling I know, but I trust in this space to show up honestly and imperfectly. I am not looking to build something that’s been done before. I am looking to build something unique — rooted in mutual support and in community and in awareness.
As I return to clinical work, I feel myself even more pulled toward investing in this community space. I love being a therapist. I love working with folks one-on-one or in the context of their relationships, and I love witnessing their growth and journey. In my work, I tend to utilize theories rooted in systems and relationships — family systems, macro systems, community systems, and historical systems. We all live within these systems and are shaped by them.
So, I wonder, what else can I, and we, do to tap into these spaces — or restructure them? We can have all the language, and do the work, and yes, we can certainly experience growth and healing in this way, but where can we supplement this work with others. With connection. With safety.
We live in a favor economy, one that has us giving to receive or falling trap to the White supremacist value of building transactional relationships to get ahead ourselves.
I get it. I struggle with it too, but I want to reframe this as reciprocity. I want to consider what is equitable, not equal. I want to focus on where we can each offer peer and mutual support when we have capacity, and when we can be held and cared for when we need. I don’t want this to feel transactional or for their to be receipts that make us feel like we are keeping tabs on who did what when. Instead, I want us to invest in our collective care.
Community matters. We matter.
And as Dr. Ayesha Khan (@wokescientist) says: “Our collective liberation is contingent on us practicing interdependence, not independence . The goal is mutual aid & reliance on each other.”
Culturally Enough. Community Mission and Goals
To empower you to feel encouraged to actively contribute and feel shared responsibility to this community
To democratize mental health by creating access to resources and content that speaks to our community’s specific mental health experiences
To create a space and hosting events that facilitate connection, trust, mutual support, (un)learning, and collective healing
To integrate and commit to self, social, and cultural awareness, transparency, inclusivity, curiosity, adaptability to changing needs, active listening, and vulnerability and honesty
How can you get involved?
Share, subscribe, or gift this newsletter.
Fill this survey out (at any point, and as many times as you want). It will be accessible and available for the foreseeable future. There are five questions that allow you to inform the content of this newsletter! (Feel free to share it too!)
Rest assured knowing that I am so endlessly grateful for you being here.
What can you expect:
📝Every Monday or Tuesday you’ll get a weekly letter (same concept as it’s been, different days)!
💬Every Thursday you will get weekly questions on Threads. This is where we hope to facilitate community connection between you all on different topics and to encourage you to reflect deeper on a specific belief/idea.
💡”Ask The Community” where each month we will feature a problem that someone in the community is having and we will skill share to help them solve it! (Survey above to contribute your struggle here)
📝More robust monthly roundups with resources, readings, links, products, and more (and your recommendations— see above survey) at the end of the month
📚Book club will be coming back, and we will have book giveaways, starting in October.
💻 At least 2x a month, the community of paid subscribers can join us on Zoom for live chats and connection
Welcome to our Community Leader, Avani!
I am excited to welcome Avani to the team! She will be assisting me in bringing you consistent offerings, and she will be facilitating community conversations here (maybe you’ve already seen her on our Zoom calls?). She will also be helping me to ensure that this space always feels like it’s doing what I intend for it to do — be a safe, comfortable, and soft place for us to land as we individually and collectively explore, divulge, and heal. Say hi!
👋🏽 Hi! I’m Avani, and I am terrible at introductions. They’re strange, no? Boiling down our entire humanity into two snappy, informational paragraphs? In any case - here I am, introducing myself to you - my dream community of people to be in contact with. So let me at least give it a go…
Geographically: I'm the proud daughter of African-Indian immigrants. I was born in Queens, grew up in Jersey, and currently live in Atlanta. Professionally: I’m a former healthcare consultant, an ex-customer success manager at a big tech company, and currently a writer and a coach. Habitually: I’m a seeker of craft coffee, all things Rihanna, nature documentaries, and anywhere with a dance floor. Emotionally: I’m a lover of raw truth, of messy humanity, and of communities that celebrate the two.
Most importantly: I am absolutely thrilled to be here. I’m deeply passionate about shedding light on the unique cultural experience of what it means to be us - people of color, first, second, and third-gen immigrants, faces of the global majority. I think connection is the secret-sauce to unlocking our collective power, and I’m so honored to be embarking on that adventure with all of you.
You can connect with me on Instagram @avanixpatel, on Substack @avanipatel, or through my website www.avanixpatel.com.
Moving Forward
Join us on Thursday. Every Thursday we will be having more in-depth conversations together. You may want to download the Substack app to easily join and contribute/read along!
Change your notifications. If you are a subscriber who doesn’t want to receive a preview of the weekly posts, or threads, please sign in to your Substack account and change your notification settings. You can make it so you only receive what you want to in your inbox!
Join us for a Zoom community conversation. On September 26 at 7pm we will come together on Zoom (as we do twice a month). The link will be sent to paid subscribers this weekend!
Stay tuned for our first ever book giveaway launching in October!
Consider becoming a paid subscriber. While some new things will be accessible for free subscribers, many things will remain accessible within subscriber-only sections. To continue to invest into this community, the cost of membership may increase in the new year.
Other Community Information
I have an advice column! I have recently written about navigating whether or not you want kids, not wanting your family heirlooms, or feeling judged for acting like “a white girl”. You can submit your anonymous question here.
Don’t forget: Consider gifting one to a loved one or asking for a gift subscription yourself! More on gifting here. And if you’re thinking of joining with a friend, you each get an additional 10% off the annual membership! Use this link to snag this deal.
Did you know you can hire me to speak at your company or organization? Learn more here.
This is a plug for my favorite way to get monthly books! Consider using my referral code to sign up for Book of the Month.
I was recently interviewed for an article on navigating big life decisions when your family may not approve. Read it here.