How do I build community?

For paid subscribers, our next community Zoom event is tomorrow September 26 at 7pm-8pm ET. We are experimenting with new times this month to allow for flexibility. Thanks for being patience with us. The link to the event is at the end of this post and a reminder will be sent out tomorrow.

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What should we discuss next month?

Please share your stories, struggles, and ideas for content in our ongoing survey! By filling this out, you give us a glimpse into your everyday struggles which helps me create content and provide solutions for you!

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The other day I saw a girl crying on the train.

Another girl across from her took out her headphones and asked her if she was okay. The girl who was crying got embarrassed but after the stranger kept comforting her, she admitted it was her birthday and her boyfriend and her were in a fight. The stranger moved to sit next to her and asked her about her birthday plans, validated her feelings, and even made her laugh. The girl hugged her and thanked her. It was a small gesture, yet one rooted in community care and vulnerability.

The power of… weak ties

Social connectedness is not only valuable to our happiness, but also to our physical health. Even more, social isolation is not only harmful to our bodies, but it’s also known to increase risk of premature death!

Of course having strong relationships is important, but guess what!!! Interactions with WEAK TIES is researched to improve your mental health, too! This means not only focusing on the people you have depth with, but opening yourself to the possibility of engaging with your neighbors, acquaintances, and strangers more!

"All of [these micro-encounters] seem to affirm our belonging, seem to affirm that we are seen and recognized by others, even the most casual contact," says psychiatrist Dr. Robert Waldinger at Massachusetts General Hospital.

Here’s more on the study on NPR, and a great summary on Instagram by Dr. Aditi Nerurkar.

Surprising to some: The “strength of weak ties” theory also maintains that infrequent, arms-length relationships – known as weak ties – are more beneficial for employment opportunities, promotions, and wages than strong ties. Who knew!

Community reflections

• In an ideal world, what specific type of community do you yearn for? (Join the thread on this.)

• Reflect on a time you felt a sense of belonging to a community. What made you feel connected to that group?

• How has being part of a community helped you cope with difficult times?

• What three traits do you think make a community STRONG?

How can you be a meaningful community member.

Being a part of a community means something.

It may require you to unlearn your scarcity with time: I’m too busy to stop. Or, your own sense of emotional scarcity: I already do so much, so why should I help others? Most importantly, being a meaningful and active member of your community means unlearning the individualistic notion that we should all be on our own, taking care of ourselves. We are better together.

This is not an extensive list but some ways to contribute to your community are: