Free community event in honor of mental health awareness month

plus other crowdsourced events, and let's talk about people pleasing.

Hi all! How are you?

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and so I wanted to do something special for the community. One of the most asked questions I get are about therapy. How do I find a therapist? What should I look for? How do I talk about it?

I am so excited to offer a FREE 60-minute webinar on all things therapy for this community. This won’t be recorded, but it will be offered TWICE. First on May 17 at 6pm ET and second on May 28 at 12pm ET. (One week prior to each event, you will receive the webinar Zoom link, and a second link to ask your questions in advance. This is not an interactive webinar.)

How do you get in? Sign up on Eventbrite to ensure your spot. Feel free to forward this to friends so they can get in too!

With that said, talk therapy is not the only source of healing! I loved being a part of this reported piece on talk therapy x Asian American identity on NBC. Read it here.

May’s theme: People Pleasing

In a poll on Brown Girl Therapy, about 96% of about 4,000 respondents who identified as children of immigrants said they struggle with or are trying to recover from people pleasing behaviors.

Now, there’s a difference between pleasing others to connect with them and needing to please others for fear of criticism, rejection, or for external validation. Neediness and connectedness are not the same thing. I repeat: wanting to be aligned with, or give to, others because you value the relationship or the space where you both exist in tandem is different than needing to give or be aligned with others in order to feel like you matter or of value.

To get clarity on this, start to ask yourself: Do my efforts with others give me joy and deepen our relationship or do my efforts with others feel like an obligation or a necessity to maintain the relationship (and my sense of self)?

When you prioritize what others think of you and place more emphasis on that rather than how you think of yourself, you give others the power to inflate or puncture your sense of self. That’s a lot of power you are giving away!

This month we will tackle PEOPLE PLEASING with the following schedule:

May 12: People pleasing as a learned trait — where does it come from? How do we learn it? Where does culture fall into this?

May 19: Identifying how people pleasing shows up in our day-to-day lives and understanding how it can be tied to other learned behaviors like perfectionism and forms of self-sabotage.

May 26: Worksheet for reflecting on, and unlearning, our people pleasing behaviors.

Crowdsourced Community Events and Information

1. This thread on the intersection of AAPIHM and JAHM!

2. Chronicon is having their annual event in New York to celebrate and discuss living with chronic illness. There’s a virtual option, too!

3. Equality Labs is hosting a series of events on Unlearning Caste Supremacy

4. The Asian Mental Health Project is hosting a free “Feelings Festival” in L.A later this month. I believe there’s a virtual option!

5. There is a fun event across New York through the month called “100 ways to send Chinatown love”

Other Community Information

1. TWO conversation clubs this month for paid subscribers = more chances to meet community members! One on May 7 (email was sent this morning), and the second on May 28!

2. Here’s a five question survey for newsletter subscribers (paid and free) to answer so I can intentionally continue to curate my content and spaces for YOU. This is anonymous! I would be so thankful if you could take about five minutes to fill this out for me.

3. Don’t forget: Consider gifting one to a loved one or asking for a gift subscription yourself! More on gifting here. And if you’re thinking of joining with a friend, you each get an additional 10% off the annual membership! Use this link to snag this deal.

4. Did you know you can hire me to speak at your company or organization? Learn more here. I am filling up for May, which is AAPI Heritage x Mental Health Awareness Months!

5. Just a reminder that if you want to only get the monthly newsletter and not the previews of the weekly posts as a free subscriber, sign in to Substack and change your notification settings!

6. This is a plug for my favorite way to get monthly books! Consider using my referral code to sign up for Book of the Month.

What questions do you have about the topics we will discuss this month on People Pleasing? Let me know in the comments!

Rooting for you,

SKK

P.S. If you feel like it, please tell your friends about this community.