April 2023 Newsletter

Plus a book update and what to expect for our monthly theme

Hi all! How are you?

I am in the last three months of book editing, which means I won’t be able to touch my book again come July and that is terrifying. I have poured myself into this body of work and I really can’t wait to share it with you all (while also wanting to hide in a hole and never come out). It’s the most vulnerable, honest account of my own struggles and life I have ever shared, while also threading in research, community conversations, client stories, and macro (systemic) issues that our population experiences.

Right now, the publication date is for Spring 2024, and I will keep you updated as we move into the more exciting parts of this journey — pre-orders, publicity, etc. But I just wanted to say thank you. You all keep me going when it feels really hard :)

One thing I have really had to confront through this journey is how all-encompassing book writing has been. I have been deeeeeep in writing, editing, researching that so much of my other life things — my marriage, Brown Girl Therapy, social and friend time/engagements, and family involvement — has taken a back seat. It’s been so hard for me because I have always connected my self-concept to being a good friend. This means I am reliable, loyal, present, and usually… available to anyone who is in my life. But I haven’t been for the past couple of years as I have had to set boundaries around my time and energy and reprioritize where my “free” time goes. This isn’t bad, but it’s been a massive change for me.

I feel grateful that so many of my loved ones have understood and have been patient and supportive of my journey, but I’ll be honest, some people have not. I have spent a lot of time thinking about what it means to be in adult friendships with other people, as well as our lived experiences (like culture, family, life transitions, and past experiences) that shape how we relate and show up in these friendships. I want to share more with you.

April’s theme: Friendships

For this month’s theme, paid subscribers voted to discuss and explore friendship! We will dive into different aspects of friendship each week leading to our end-of-month Zoom conversation club for paid subscribers.

Week 1: Exploring how culture and family impact our development — and understanding — of friendships

Week 2: Why are friendships important and what does it mean to be a “good friend”?

Week 3: How do we make new friends and maintain old friends through life changes?

Week 4: I will share a few activities I use with clients to help you take stock of your current friendships.

For now I want to share five resources on friendship for you:

• This psychologist focuses on friendship content and research, and she’s great! Follow her here.

• This survey on the state of American friendship is so fascinating

• This podcast where Esther Perel facilitates friendship therapy with two besties in crisis.

• This amazing initiative out in Zimbabwe called the Friendship Bench run by grandmothers

• This book written by two friends who went to friendship therapy and wanted to have more intentionality around their interracial/intercultural friendship

Community Information

1. Here’s a five question survey for newsletter subscribers (paid and free) to answer so I can intentionally continue to curate my content and spaces for YOU. This is anonymous! I would be so thankful if you could take about five minutes to fill this out for me.

2. Stay tuned because I will be hosting a free webinar on all things therapy and you’ll get first dibs as newsletter subscribers! More to come soon!

3. Don’t forget: Consider gifting one to a loved one or asking for a gift subscription yourself! More on gifting here. And if you’re thinking of joining with a friend, you each get an additional 10% off the annual membership! Use this link to snag this deal.

4. Did you know you can hire me to speak at your company or organization? Learn more here. I am filling up for May, which is AAPI Heritage x Mental Health Awareness Months!

5. Just a reminder that if you want to only get the monthly newsletter and not the previews of the weekly posts as a free subscriber, sign in to Substack and change your notification settings!

What questions do you have about the topics we will discuss this month on Friendship? Let me know in the comments!

Rooting for you,

SKK

P.S. If you feel like it, please tell your friends about this community.